Journey in India, Part One

I've been trying to post daily updates regarding our adoption, but it's hard to sum it all up in short sound bites, so I'm going to condense it here to keep our family and friends informed. It has been a JOURNEY, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

Aug. 28 and 29, Day 1 and 2

We left our house a little after 8:00 AM on Sunday morning, checked our (very) heavy bag, and met Russell and Janice Mauldin for a time of prayer and a send-off. After all the waiting, all the preparations, all of the last minute details, I was in a bit of shock that, almost four years after we started talking about adopting, we were actually getting on a plane to go get her. Well, actually four planes, but more on that in a minute.

We flew Nashville to Chicago to Newark to New Delhi. The first two flights were only about two hours, and the last one was about 14 hours. We left Newark around 10 at night, and landed in New Delhi about 9:30 PM, thanks to the time change. And wow, was United Airlines disappointing. I've flown a lot. I've flown internationally a lot. I've never, ever had such a terrible experience. From the flight attendant who insisted the shade stay down for the entire 14-hour flight, to the non-working TV screen, and not being offered anything but water in a 12-hour period, (which was only offered twice), it was pretty awful. Reagan was such a trooper though. He slept twice, watched movies, played with the Kindle his Aunt Tracy loaned us, and continued his role as Best Traveler Ever.

After we landed, as late as it was, I tried to soak it all in. India is just so, so different from the United States in so many ways. The traffic, the cars, the people, the poverty -- it was a bit of a shock to my system, even though I had been to New Delhi previously. I wish I could have known what Reagan was thinking. He seemed to be in awe of it -- plus, he was pretty excited he didn't have to sit in a car seat, since they don't really exist in India.

Aug. 30, Day 3

We stayed at a Four Points the first two nights. By the time we checked in, got our stuff organized, and took showers, it was close to midnight. Thankfully everyone slept well, until about 8:30. We ate at the breakfast buffet in our hotel, and then just lounged around all day. Reagan had more screen time in one day than he has probably had all month. We relaxed, trying to savor our last couple of days as a family of three.

Aug. 31, Day 4

We flew from Delhi to Pune, about a two-hour flight, on Jet Airways. Unlike United staff, who seemed completely bothered by our existence, the Jet Airways staff were AMAZING. We were served a hot meal both times. Too bad they aren't based in the United States. We were driven to our hotel, ordered room service (which is ridiculously cheap here) and savored our last night as a family of three.

Sept. 1, Day 5

I  have to admit, I barely slept at all the night before we left to pick up Marella. My mind was swirling, wondering how Reagan would be, wondering how she would be, wondering how we would be. I had second thoughts. I wondered if it was a mistake. I wondered how quickly we could get to her. I wondered if she would love us or hate us.

We left our hotel at 6:00 AM and drove to Solapur with a guide and a driver. The drive took just under four hours, and was actually quite picturesque. We pulled up to ramshackle building, tucked away on a side street. The sense of cleanliness in India is different than what we are accustomed to, but it was still a bit shocking to me. However, once we got inside the orphanage, away from the street, it was a bit better.

We sat and talked with the director for a few minutes, and then they brought her out. I thought maybe I'd burst into tears, or maybe I'd laugh. Or, something. Instead, I just stared at her. Reagan, on the other hand, walked right over to her and started playing with her. She seemed to sense something was going on, and she also showed that she has some serious spunk. After a few minutes, I tried to pick her up, and she waved her hand at me to say, "No!" and then marched off, hands behind her back.

We were given a tour of the orphanage. Three rooms housing about 25 children, each room not much bigger than a large closet. With the exception of Marella, all of the children were in bed. At noon. There were some that I desperately wanted to scoop up and run out of the orphanage with.

I believe the director and the workers are doing the best they can. But I counted five toys. Five toys for all those children, who were all in bed in the middle of the day. It was heart-breaking, for sure.

They had a giving away ceremony for us, and then we left with her in our arms. Poor little girl screamed and screamed and screamed, as we carried her away from the only home she ever knew. I so badly wished I could tell her we were actually helping her -- that she was only going to be able to stay at the orphanage until she was six, and then she would go to a sterile institution until she was 14, and then be on the streets. I wanted her to know that this was for her good, even if she didn't see it yet. I wanted her to know how desperately she was wanted and cared for and loved, by her family and so many friends, but I couldn't tell her any of that. Instead, I held her while she cried, and I cried too -- for her, and for all the children who may never have a family of their own. Their future is bleak.

After sobbing for several minutes, she fell into a deep sleep, and when she awoke, apparently decided I'm her person. Since then, I haven't been able to put her down for even a second without her crying her heart out. It's been hard for Reagan to understand.

Sept. 2, Day 6

Marella slept all night long, and even smiled at me a bit when she woke up. We ate breakfast at the hotel (which she promptly threw back up), and then flew back to New Delhi from Pune. She made it very clear that she hated the lap belt she had to wear, and also disliked flying in general. Reagan, God bless him, was also starting to show the strain, not that we blame him. It was his fifth plane in six days, not to mention the eight-hour car ride. But, we returned to seeing Mr. Steve and Miss Joyce, which made it so much better.

Sept. 3, Day 7

We ate breakfast at the hotel, and took Marella to get our exit permits, and also for her medical evaluation. While waiting for our permits, I spoke to our guide, Gloria, about Marella. Gloria said often times children are abandoned, especially disabled girls, because they are considered a burden to their family. They will be difficult to marry off, because they are flawed, and so it's easier for the parents to dispose of them than to keep them. My heart shattered a little more.

Later, at the medical evaluation, my husband read her medical file. We got one at the orphanage, which we didn't take time to read until we were at the doctor's office.

Lord, have mercy.

This girl. This sweet, beautiful, precious little girl, with eyes like big brown saucers and the CUTEST little pout, was found abandoned in a pile of trash, outside of a bathroom.

Someone put her out with the trash.

I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't.

This little girl, who is one of the two best gifts I have ever been given, was considered trash, most likely because of a deformed foot.

You can be certain I will delete this post before she is old enough to read. because that will never be part of her new story. Ever. Nope.

I haven't been able to shake that - that this little girl who sleeps only while resting on me, was considered as worthless as a piece of trash.

And then I think of all those other babies, abandoned for whatever reason, and I want to take them all. I know we can't, but I desperately want to.

But for today, I will love on her, and I will love on Reagan, who has struggled today. He didn't want to share, he didn't want me to hold her, and he ran away from me at the elevator.

It's OK. He's four. He'll get it. The compassion and tenderness he has shown her will continue. We've asked a lot of him this week. I trust his big brother heart. It's normal for him to act out. He woke up again with his arm around her, and then got upset when she didn't want to be that close to him.

We will be OK. We are family.



"I don't want a flame, I want a fire. I wanna be the one who stands up and says, 'I'm gonna do something.'" ~Matthew West, 'Do Something'