Sept. 4, Day 8
It would be fitting with this entire adoption journey if the week continued with everyone seamlessly getting along, Reagan becoming the perfect child, adapting well while halfway around the world, while Mommy and Daddy take care of his new baby sister, who is delighted to be freed from the stagnant orphanage.
Unfortunately, adoption isn't all rainbows and lollipops.
Sunday, Sept. 4, was hard. So, so hard. Hard on everyone. Hard on me. Hard on my husband. Hard on Reagan. Hard on Marella. So hard.
Marella, or Princess as we have dubbed her, wanted to be held. Allll day. By me. And only me. JUST me. All day. She did not want to sit. She did not want to lay down. She did not want to walk more than three steps. She just wanted me to hold her, on my left hip. All day.
Sweet little Reagan, realizing someone else had Mommy's attention, wanted Mommy to hold him. By the end of the day, we were all near our breaking point. My left arm was so tired it felt like it was going to fall off. Reagan had an epic meltdown. Johnny and I were both SPENT. Exhausted. Marella cried at bedtime. Reagan screamed. I thought I was going to lose my mind.
It was not a great day. Just keeping it real. It was, aside from the chocolate waffle at breakfast, a pretty terrible day.
Marella did smile some at dinner, at TGIFriday's. Full disclosure: It goes against everything I believe in to go to a foreign country and eat American food. But we have realized that even their American food is spicy, at least by a four-year-old's standards, and after all we have put him through, if we have the opportunity to give him food from a kid's menu in an American restaurant, then so be it. He's a fantastic eater at home. I might have gotten him pizza and french fries Sunday night at dinner. Desperate times ....
But, dinner was one small bright spot in a very difficult day. Marella and Reagan each received a wind-up toy, and little Princess decided Miss Joyce was her personal winder-upper. She giggled and laughed and babbled in a language we didn't understand.
Sept. 5, Day 9
Thankfully, Monday was MUCH better. Normally, we would have continued our exit process today to be able to legally leave the country with Marella, but since it was a holiday in India, we had another day off. Reagan did school work with Miss Joyce for a bit, and then we hung out in the lobby, the six of us, for much of the morning. Marella still only wanted me, but she did chatter a lot more and smiled.
During nap time, as soon as Reagan woke up -- as in, the second he opened his eyes -- I put my finger to my mouth to tell him to be quiet, picked him up, grabbed his shoes, and we escaped. We put his shoes on in the hall, and went to the mall next door to get him cotton candy. Again, desperate times. It was the BEST time. My heart was so full, holding his hand walking through the mall, I might have wiped a tear or two away. I will never, ever, ever be able to articulate how proud I am of him, throughout this entire process.
I told him we couldn't stay long, but we sat on a bench for a bit and just had Mommy and Reagan time. I'm not sure who needed it more.
When he got his cotton candy, it came out as this big flower, and my first thought was that I wished I had my phone to capture the moment. But I have to say, I think the demise of my phone might be a really great thing for this trip. I'm not capturing moments; I'm living in them. The world will not end if a few hundred people miss the picture of a wide-eyed four-year-old with a stick of pink cotton candy as big as his head. I was in the moment, and it was awesome.
We went back to Chili's for dinner, and once again, Marella chattered away. We didn't see children eating at a table in the orphanage, but for some reason, she comes alive at the table. And, Princess made it very clear that she did not want the broken up bits of my food I put on a plate for her. She wanted my food, from my plate, and her water from a glass, not a plastic cup, please and thank you.
Funny story: We are all sleeping in the same bed. The two littlest ones take up the most space, by far. So, after they were both asleep, and we were clinging to the edge of the bed, my husband decided to scoot Marella over a bit, to the middle.
WELL, Princess woke up and did not want to be moved, and started rattling off in a language we did not understand, but BOY WAS SHE MAD.
At least we know she is feisty.
Sept. 6, Day 10
Today Reagan stayed back with Mr. Steve and Miss Joyce while we had our embassy appointment. Our visa interview lasted about three minutes, and then we went to the FRRO (Foreigner Regional Registration Offices) to secure a place in line, then BACK to the embassy to pick up our visa, and then back to the FRRO, where we waited about 20 minutes for our number to be called. The good news is that we got a lot more done in one day than we planned, but I will admit, it definitely wasn't my favorite day. There was a lot of waiting, and a bit of anxiety, because the interview at the embassy just sounded a bit intimidating -- but in reality, it was really easy. But the entire day was a lot of time in the car, a lot of heat, a lot of waiting, and a bit of fussing from a little girl who did not understand what we were doing.
Reagan did well with the Samples, though, and was rewarded with pool time. You guys, this pool was EPIC. It looked like it belonged in a hotel at a 5-star resort. It was Marella's first time in the pool, and I'm not sure what she thought of it. No tears, just lots of clinging.
After several days of eating at the mall, we decided we needed something different, so we ordered room service pizza and naan, followed by a banana split and raspberry chocolate souffle, which we all shared. We went to bed completely exhausted, but thrilled with all we got done.
Sept. 7, Day 11
Early this morning, Marella must have had a bad dream, because we woke up to her screaming, 'Ma-MEEE!! Ma-MEEE!' I scooped her up and she fell right back asleep on top of me, which is how she likes to sleep. Surprisingly, thanks to melatonin, a sleeping pill and a benadryl, I actually slept all night, still waking up about once an hour to make sure no one was sleeping on top of her.
Sweet Marella discovered the joy of chocolate waffles with whipped cream this morning. She also loves bananas, mango yogurt and banana bread.
My sweet friend Ruth, who lives in New Delhi, came to see me today. Her visit was a breath of fresh air in the middle of a very intense experience. Johnny went back to the FRRO and to CARA (Central Adoption Resource Authority), and then we should be done with all of our paperwork. We leave Friday night (Sept. 9) at 11:35 PM, and land on Saturday (Sept. 10) around 5:30.
Marella is starting to warm up to other people, but she still wants me with/near her all the time. It's making us realize how important it is to let her bond with US first, and to follow all of the experts advice. Once she has formed a very close bond with us, we will start letting others hold her, but it will be a few months. Ideally, by Christmas we can hopefully let the grandparents and immediate family start holding her, but we really need to let her take the lead. Of course, our ultimate goal is to make her feel as safe and secure as possible. She's had almost two years of instability and insecurity.
But if anyone really wants to show love to someone, I know of a really, really, really cute four-year-old who could use some extra attention....
It would be fitting with this entire adoption journey if the week continued with everyone seamlessly getting along, Reagan becoming the perfect child, adapting well while halfway around the world, while Mommy and Daddy take care of his new baby sister, who is delighted to be freed from the stagnant orphanage.
Unfortunately, adoption isn't all rainbows and lollipops.
Sunday, Sept. 4, was hard. So, so hard. Hard on everyone. Hard on me. Hard on my husband. Hard on Reagan. Hard on Marella. So hard.
Marella, or Princess as we have dubbed her, wanted to be held. Allll day. By me. And only me. JUST me. All day. She did not want to sit. She did not want to lay down. She did not want to walk more than three steps. She just wanted me to hold her, on my left hip. All day.
Sweet little Reagan, realizing someone else had Mommy's attention, wanted Mommy to hold him. By the end of the day, we were all near our breaking point. My left arm was so tired it felt like it was going to fall off. Reagan had an epic meltdown. Johnny and I were both SPENT. Exhausted. Marella cried at bedtime. Reagan screamed. I thought I was going to lose my mind.
It was not a great day. Just keeping it real. It was, aside from the chocolate waffle at breakfast, a pretty terrible day.
Marella did smile some at dinner, at TGIFriday's. Full disclosure: It goes against everything I believe in to go to a foreign country and eat American food. But we have realized that even their American food is spicy, at least by a four-year-old's standards, and after all we have put him through, if we have the opportunity to give him food from a kid's menu in an American restaurant, then so be it. He's a fantastic eater at home. I might have gotten him pizza and french fries Sunday night at dinner. Desperate times ....
But, dinner was one small bright spot in a very difficult day. Marella and Reagan each received a wind-up toy, and little Princess decided Miss Joyce was her personal winder-upper. She giggled and laughed and babbled in a language we didn't understand.
Sept. 5, Day 9
Thankfully, Monday was MUCH better. Normally, we would have continued our exit process today to be able to legally leave the country with Marella, but since it was a holiday in India, we had another day off. Reagan did school work with Miss Joyce for a bit, and then we hung out in the lobby, the six of us, for much of the morning. Marella still only wanted me, but she did chatter a lot more and smiled.
During nap time, as soon as Reagan woke up -- as in, the second he opened his eyes -- I put my finger to my mouth to tell him to be quiet, picked him up, grabbed his shoes, and we escaped. We put his shoes on in the hall, and went to the mall next door to get him cotton candy. Again, desperate times. It was the BEST time. My heart was so full, holding his hand walking through the mall, I might have wiped a tear or two away. I will never, ever, ever be able to articulate how proud I am of him, throughout this entire process.
I told him we couldn't stay long, but we sat on a bench for a bit and just had Mommy and Reagan time. I'm not sure who needed it more.
When he got his cotton candy, it came out as this big flower, and my first thought was that I wished I had my phone to capture the moment. But I have to say, I think the demise of my phone might be a really great thing for this trip. I'm not capturing moments; I'm living in them. The world will not end if a few hundred people miss the picture of a wide-eyed four-year-old with a stick of pink cotton candy as big as his head. I was in the moment, and it was awesome.
We went back to Chili's for dinner, and once again, Marella chattered away. We didn't see children eating at a table in the orphanage, but for some reason, she comes alive at the table. And, Princess made it very clear that she did not want the broken up bits of my food I put on a plate for her. She wanted my food, from my plate, and her water from a glass, not a plastic cup, please and thank you.
Funny story: We are all sleeping in the same bed. The two littlest ones take up the most space, by far. So, after they were both asleep, and we were clinging to the edge of the bed, my husband decided to scoot Marella over a bit, to the middle.
WELL, Princess woke up and did not want to be moved, and started rattling off in a language we did not understand, but BOY WAS SHE MAD.
At least we know she is feisty.
Sept. 6, Day 10
Today Reagan stayed back with Mr. Steve and Miss Joyce while we had our embassy appointment. Our visa interview lasted about three minutes, and then we went to the FRRO (Foreigner Regional Registration Offices) to secure a place in line, then BACK to the embassy to pick up our visa, and then back to the FRRO, where we waited about 20 minutes for our number to be called. The good news is that we got a lot more done in one day than we planned, but I will admit, it definitely wasn't my favorite day. There was a lot of waiting, and a bit of anxiety, because the interview at the embassy just sounded a bit intimidating -- but in reality, it was really easy. But the entire day was a lot of time in the car, a lot of heat, a lot of waiting, and a bit of fussing from a little girl who did not understand what we were doing.
Reagan did well with the Samples, though, and was rewarded with pool time. You guys, this pool was EPIC. It looked like it belonged in a hotel at a 5-star resort. It was Marella's first time in the pool, and I'm not sure what she thought of it. No tears, just lots of clinging.
After several days of eating at the mall, we decided we needed something different, so we ordered room service pizza and naan, followed by a banana split and raspberry chocolate souffle, which we all shared. We went to bed completely exhausted, but thrilled with all we got done.
Sept. 7, Day 11
Early this morning, Marella must have had a bad dream, because we woke up to her screaming, 'Ma-MEEE!! Ma-MEEE!' I scooped her up and she fell right back asleep on top of me, which is how she likes to sleep. Surprisingly, thanks to melatonin, a sleeping pill and a benadryl, I actually slept all night, still waking up about once an hour to make sure no one was sleeping on top of her.
Sweet Marella discovered the joy of chocolate waffles with whipped cream this morning. She also loves bananas, mango yogurt and banana bread.
My sweet friend Ruth, who lives in New Delhi, came to see me today. Her visit was a breath of fresh air in the middle of a very intense experience. Johnny went back to the FRRO and to CARA (Central Adoption Resource Authority), and then we should be done with all of our paperwork. We leave Friday night (Sept. 9) at 11:35 PM, and land on Saturday (Sept. 10) around 5:30.
Marella is starting to warm up to other people, but she still wants me with/near her all the time. It's making us realize how important it is to let her bond with US first, and to follow all of the experts advice. Once she has formed a very close bond with us, we will start letting others hold her, but it will be a few months. Ideally, by Christmas we can hopefully let the grandparents and immediate family start holding her, but we really need to let her take the lead. Of course, our ultimate goal is to make her feel as safe and secure as possible. She's had almost two years of instability and insecurity.
But if anyone really wants to show love to someone, I know of a really, really, really cute four-year-old who could use some extra attention....
Muwahhhh and HUGS and all the l9ve I can virtually send you ♡♡♡♡♡
ReplyDeleteI love reading all the details. Prayers continue for all of you. I can't imagine the challenges, but i know it will all be worth it! I SOOO wish i could be there to greet you Saturday, but I made a commitment to something else on Sat evening several months ago :( We will plan on getting Reagan Sunday morning if he is up to it after the flight back. love to all of you.
ReplyDeleteLove and hugs to all of you. Praying for bonding.
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