Tuesday, February 25, 2014

The Thompson's Big News

 We have big, big, big news.

After spending the past 16 months, talking, praying, and signing our name over and over and over again, we can finally announce that WE ARE ADOPTING A GIRL FROM INDIA!!!!

I know.

That's pretty big news.

First, the back story: In 2010, I spent a life-changing 11 days in India. I left there wanting to return to the States, sell all of my things, and spend my life with the beautiful people who captured my heart. Life happened instead, including falling in love with my sweet husband, getting married, buying a house and having a child. But India stayed on my mind and in my heart. Before my husband and I really started even talking about forever, I told him marrying me meant agreeing to live in India for at least a season of our life. (He, surprisingly or not, agreed).



In October of 2012, while sitting in church, I felt this overwhelming, undeniable, irrepressible urge to adopt a girl from India. Just like that. I went to my husband after the service, and said, "I think we have a little girl waiting for us in India."

Let me assure you, if he had said those words to me, I would have said something along the lines of, "Are you crazy?" or "Do you know how much international adoption costs?" But anyone who knows my husband will not be shocked by his response.

"Well then, we need to go get her," he said.

That's it.

"We need to go get her."

I married well.

Recounting those words brings tears to my eyes every time.

I remember driving home from church that Sunday, thinking that our lives were just completely turned upside down in the best way possible.

We began researching agencies that did adoption to India, found American World, and started the process. Unfortunately, 2013 didn't go at all as we had planned. Job loss and unexpected hefty bills made up most of the year. Instead of watching our savings account increase, we watched it decrease every single month -- sometimes by a little, and sometimes by a lot. So, we waited. Every night before dinner, when we said our prayers with Reagan, we prayed for our little girl in India, but we waited.

Until we felt like we just couldn't wait any more.

So at the very beginning of the year, we began the application process, paid our deposit, and waited again. Surprisingly, in only a short amount of time, we got the word that we were accepted into the program.

Wow.

While there are many, many, many hurdles to jump through, getting that phone call felt almost exactly how I felt when my pregnancy test with Reagan came back positive -- minus the weird queasy feeling I had been having for a few days. It was that instant rush of excitement, fear and elation all mixed up in one sudden emotion.

I'll admit - when I look at the lovely fee schedule they sent us, I have to take a few deep breaths. When we wrote our first really big check a couple weeks ago, I thought I might hyperventilate just a bit. I hadn't written a check that big in a long, long time. I even thought about maybe waiting just a few more months. Part of me said we needed to build up our savings account again, before we pursued this any further.

Sometimes I can be so First World.

I was debating whether or not we should take money out of our savings account to bring home a child from India who is living in an orphanage.

There are an estimated 31 million orphans living in India. 31 million. That's 1/10 of the population of the entire United States. That's roughly the number of people living Florida and Pennsylvania combined.

It's a lot of children to live alone.

These are children whose parents can no longer afford to take care of them. Children whose parents died from HIV. Children whose parents died for a thousand other reasons. Children who have been abandoned on the street because they are the wrong gender, or have a disability or are too expensive or are just unwanted.

While there are, without question, many, many wonderful orphanages in India, the glaring fact remains that there are 31 million orphans in India. 31 million children who are right now not getting tucked into bed. 31 million children who wonder if they will get ONE meal today. Forget three. That hasn't happened since ... well, forever. 31 million children who have never had anyone comb their hair, remind them to eat their vegetables, or found a present with a big bow under the Christmas tree with their name on it. 31 million children who are at severe risk of being trafficked for sex -- with India considered by many to have the highest population of children who are sold into slavery.

It's kind of hard to wrap your mind around, isn't it?

Mine too.

So while I was debating whether or not we should decrease our savings account to adopt a child, on the other side of the world a big brother is debating whether to share his one bowl of food with his little sister. An orphanage is trying to decide which child from their long waiting list they should take off the streets. A mother is deciding which child to give up because she certainly can't take care of them all.

Again. Sometimes I can be so First World, it's embarrassing.

So, we are adopting a little girl from India. That means we're selling our house, and buying another one, with a third bedroom (anyone want a two-bedroom, 2 1/2 bath townhome in great condition?) That means we're selling our truck and getting a vehicle we can pay cash for, that's better on gas and will give us a few thousand extra in the bank. That means that those Groupon/Living Social/Buy 1, Get 1 Free restaurant meals we used to enjoy every now and then are a thing of the past, for now. That means more coupons, less spending, more work, less time off. 

But, in the bigger picture, does any of that really matter? I read a great blog about adoption (read it here), and while their story is different than ours, this stood out to me:

"I was further challenged when I was conversing with two other ladies about adoption. One just couldn't fathom bringing a stranger into her home to live with her other children. And the cost? Well, that meant that they would possibly have to go into debt or take away from their other children. Once she was done, all I could say is, 'For the price of your car, a child could be brought out of poverty and given a family forever.'"

We won't go into debt to bring our little girl home, because, well, except for a mortgage, we don't do debt. Period. We will be doing fund-raisers, so stay tuned. The estimated cost will be ... a lot. We are expecting upwards of $25,000.

We could get a girl anywhere between the ages of 6 months to 13 years. We are open to an older adoption, so it's really up in the air. To adopt from India, you have to agree to adopt a child with special needs. That, of course, doesn't mean that's what we will get, but we have said we are open to a child with challenges.

Yes, it's going to disrupt our lives. Yes, it's going to cost a lot. Yes, it's going to insert-word-here. But I can barely talk about it without crying. She -- whoever she is, however old she is, whatever story she brings with her -- already feels like a part of our family.

One more thing. Any time international adoption comes up, it seems the correlating question, at least for some people, is why we would travel halfway around the world when there are so many children who need homes right here in our own country. It's a valid concern.

We think adopting from our own country is an excellent idea. We've talked about it ourselves, especially an older child. There's certainly a big need right in our own backyard, and we applaud anyone who welcomes a child from the United States into their home. For us, it came down to a few things. One, we just felt the pull to India. That's by far the most important factor. But also, while there is an undeniable need in our country, the conditions in orphanages in other parts of the world are far less than what most children in our own country face. But, that door for us is by no means closed.

So.

WE ARE ADOPTING A GIRL FROM INDIA!!!!

P.S. Our apologies to those we wanted to tell in person but didn't get a chance to yet. We would have loved to have had the chance to sit down with every one of our friends and shared this in person, but life happened.

P.P.S. To help us bring her home, click here, and in the bottom right-hand corner, put 'Johnny and Gayle Thompson' in the space for Designated Family. Checks can be made payable to AWAA, and sent to America World Adoption Association, Attn: Accounting Dept., 6723 Whittier Ave., Suite 202, McLean, VA 22101, along with a form that can be found here. Checks must be designated for the Eternal Family Fund. Or, you can donate to our GoFundMe page.


Thursday, February 20, 2014

Where Social Media Went Wrong

I admit it. I like Facebook. A lot. I like that friends from high school (and a few teachers), friends through work, relatives who live 800 miles away, and the person who does a fantastic job of cutting my hair are all part of my social circle. I think it's great that they get to 'meet' my husband and my son and be part of my world, and vice versa, even if real life keeps us apart.

But.

I don't necessarily like every part of social media. And by social media, I primarily mean Facebook. Yes, I have Twitter and LinkedIn, because people who know more than me say I need them to stay connected. I'm sure they are right. But for now, other than an occasional glance, Facebook is about all I can handle. I'm working on that.

Anyway. There are a few things that are starting to irk me about the endless stream of social chatter that fills up my news feed. I used to have a lot more free time. I used to have 30 minutes to troll through people's pictures and updates and mundane details of their life. But now, my Facebook time is largely limited to Reagan's post-nap ritual of watching Thomas the Tank Engine or the Wiggles. A few minutes here and there is about all I get.

And because I don't have as much time, I find myself getting increasingly annoyed at some of the downsides of  Facebook friends sharing their life in short updates. More and more, I find myself going to the upper right corner of a profile to uncheck the 'following' button, so I don't see their updates in my news feed anymore.  That little step alone has saved me a ton of sanity.

Here's why: when I only have a few minutes of nothing time (and I can already recite almost verbatim every. single. Wiggles. song), I don't want to hear about the fight you had with your spouse, how disrespectful your kids are, why you hate your job, or what political/social group of people you abhor.

I just don't want to know.

I about hit a tipping point a couple months ago, when the Duck Dynasty drama blew up all over the internet. People on both sides spewed venom. In the span of about three minutes, sitting in a hotel room on the first night of what was supposed to be a relaxing vacation, I read horrendous, almost-unspeakable things some people wanted to do to Phil Robertson, and alternately, proud, vocal support of his beliefs, complete with Old Testament scriptures stating what an 'abomination' (their words, not mine) homosexuals were.

I'm not talking one or two people. I'm talking way too many people taking up way too much space on my newsfeed.

Really? Is this what we've become? People wanting someone dead because of an admittedly really stupid comment he made? People calling someone an abomination who will rot in hell?

Really?

Call me crazy, but I think if it wouldn't be said to someone's face, it shouldn't be said at all.

The great thing about the country we live in is that we're all entitled to our own beliefs. It's a freedom that, sadly, too many people will never experience in their lifetime. But with that freedom comes a responsibility -- a responsibility to be kind to people who disagree with you.

I have a hard time believing someone would go up to somebody else and tell them that they wish they would die, or that they were going to rot in hell. Believe what you want, but that doesn't mean that belief needs to be shared with the world.

I think Facebook is great for what I started off this rambling blog with -- sharing fun stories, family photos, perhaps a cute anecdote. But, I don't think it's the place for hostile speech.

Nor do I think it's the place for airing dirty laundry. I'm sorry your 'stupid husband' came home late again, and I'm sorry that your 'dumb boss' is making you work late and that your 'annoying kid' is driving you insane with their rebellion. I really am sorry. But, in all fairness, unless you and I talk in person on a regular basis, and you consider me a close confidant, that's not really my business.

I assume most people have the same amount of free time I have, which is not very much. So if I'm going to take up a few seconds of your time with a brief update of my life, I hope it leaves you happy. I hope it leaves you inspired. I hope it leaves you with a smile. Maybe a chuckle (my kid can be pretty funny).

I hope it puts you in a better mood, not worse. I hope I have somehow brightened your day. And if I haven't, well then you have my permission to take me out of your news feed. Because, chances are, if you've told me about your abysmal day, or who you hate, or why your life is terrible, I've already taken you out of mine.