We are currently working on completing our dossier. I was told the word 'dossier' means 'paper chase,' and they aren't kidding. But we're more than halfway through getting those papers notarized, and then we have to get them apostilled (whatever that means). We are submitting our application and home study to the USCIS (United States Citizenship and Immigration Services), and when we receive approval from them (please, God), we will mail that approval with our completed dossier to our adoption agency, American World, and then we wait for a referral.
A HUGE thanks to everyone who has written referrals, donated financially, given us advice, answered endless questions, and helped support us in this journey. We feel SO incredibly blessed by all the help we have received.
It feels like the last few months have been filled with completing forms, signing our names, waiting for papers and paying fees. But, while the process has seemed at times daunting, overwhelming, exhausting, and insert-word-here, it's already worth it. It's worth it because we get a daughter through this. A daughter who needs a forever family as much as we need a daughter. A daughter to us, and a sister to Reagan.
Some people have asked why we're doing this, why we're spending the money, and one or two even brought up our ages. Some have brought up stories of children who were adopted and they turned out a mess. All valid concerns.
Yes, it's taking a lot of time and a lot of money. Yes, we are fully aware of how much it will change the dynamics of our family. Yes, we are aware that Reagan will no longer get all of the attention. Yes, we are aware of what our ages will be when she graduates from high school. Yes, we could use the money we are spending to buy a bigger house, a nicer car, a more lavish vacation, or put more in savings. Yes, there is no guarantee that she will magically morph into a perfect, straight-A student who smiles, is courteous and goes on to save the world.
But none of that really matters in the bigger picture. Sure, we could afford nicer things, have a more comfortable life. But we would do it at the expense of her life, literally. Orphans, and I'd add especially orphans in India, are typically not treated well. She has no concept of family. She may or may not be fed every day. She may have been left on the street, or her birth parents may have died. She knows loneliness. She knows abandonment. She knows hunger. She knows thirst. She knows fear. She knows pain.
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But what she doesn't know is love. That unconditional love from a parent that I have to believe is an inherent right of every human being. She doesn't know what it's like to have a mother soothe her fears in the middle of the night. She doesn't know what it's like to be fed before she feels the aching pangs of a missed meal, or two -- or more. She doesn't have anyone to celebrate her milestones, like rolling over, sitting up, or her first laugh -- and perhaps she hasn't achieved them yet, because there's no one to help her, to teach her.
No one is snapping pictures and filling out her baby book. No one is singing silly songs to her, or letting her bang pots and pans at their feet while they cook her dinner. No one is hanging her crayon scribbles on the refrigerator. No one is taking her to the pediatrician to make sure she is healthy. No one is tickling her belly during bath time, or buying her a pretty new dress.
No one.
No one.
No. One.
There are more than 153 million orphans across the world. Let that number sink in. 153 million. To put that in perspective, there are currently about 319 million people in the United States. Sobering.
According to Orphan Hope International, 14,505,000 children age out of the system before they are adopted. 38,493 orphans age out every day. Every 2.2 seconds, to be exact, another child somewhere in the world is on the streets.
On the streets, without anyone monitoring them, looking out for them, making sure they are fed and clothed. They are on the streets, where they are easy prey for trafficking, kidnapping, prostitution, and the list goes on and on.
60% of the girls become prostitutes, and 70% of the boys lead a life of crime. Because no one loved them. Because no one took them in. Because no one gave up a nice car, a fancy vacation or a bigger home to give them a home. Because no one stepped up.
Really, if I can be frank, I think the conversation should be less about why we are doing this, and more about why more people aren't. I mean, I get that not everyone is in a position to physically travel halfway around the world (or, maybe even around the street corner) to adopt a child, but everyone can do something. Everyone can donate to an orphanage, send supplies, gifts, help a family who adopted or is adopting. Everyone can give up one nice meal a month to help a child get a meal.
My husband says that he hopes that, if nothing else, we show others that normal people can do this. Normal people with normal houses, normal jobs and normal incomes can literally save a child's life, can literally change a child's history, a child's legacy, a child's future.
So yes, it's going to be hard. It's going to be very, very, very hard. It's going to be hard on us, and it's going to be hard on Reagan. But, as his pediatrician says, it will be difficult for Reagan, but it will be good for him. I don't want to raise a child who thinks the world revolves around him. I want to raise a child who understands that not everyone is born with the things we take for granted. I want him to have a heart to help those less fortunate. I want him to see his parents take a stand, over and over and over again, for those who can't stand for themselves.
I can no longer shut my eyes and pretend that someone else will take care of the orphans. Because they won't. It's not someone else's problem. It's mine.
"I don't want a flame, I want a fire. I wanna be the one who stands up and says, 'I'm gonna do something.'" ~Matthew West, 'Do Something'
