But not because of the ruling.
It's because I'm a Christian.
And as a Christian, I've been embarrassed by how some of my fellow Christians have acted, all in the name of God.
Once upon a time, pre-Facebook, my faith was something I spoke about freely. Not in a prideful way, and not in a proselytizing way. Just, a part of me. Like, I'm short. I love coffee and chocolate. I love to travel and to read. I like to cook and entertain and hang out with my sister. And, by the way, I'm also a Christian.
But with the advent of Facebook and other forms of social media, I find myself keeping quiet about it more and more. Not because I'm ashamed of it. But because, truthfully, I'm ashamed of how some people who call themselves Christians, speak. They use the name of God as a vehicle to spew hatred and condemnation.
I have friends who are gay, straight, Christian, atheist, rich, poor, entrepreneurs and stay-at-home moms. And my life is too busy for fake friends these days, so if I have a friend, it's because they add something of value to my life -- and I will fight to keep them in my life. So when I read people on Facebook using words of derision against people in my circle of friends, it makes me sick to my stomach.
I have friends who celebrated the Supreme Court decision, and friends who disagreed with the ruling. Some friends see the decision as an answer to prayer, and some think it is a sign of the Apocalypse.
For those who are happy about the decision, then this doesn't really apply to you. But for those who disagree, those who have called out others for their lifestyles, those who have said awful, hurtful, hateful things -- things that I can't imagine someone ever saying to someone else face to face -- to those people, stop. Please, please, please, stop. I am begging you. Please, just stop.
Judging others is easy, isn't it? It sure feels good in the moment. We condemn the choices of others to feel better about the choices we make.
In the past few days, I've seen people who have led imperfect lives (as we all have, myself most definitely included), boldly and blatantly condemning those who live in, or support, same-sex relationships. Men and women who have had children out of wedlock, who have had multiple marriages, who haven't always been truthful, who are alcoholics, food addicts, and the list goes on and on -- but they easily judge someone by a label, without knowing anything else about their story.
Some people think it's a sin, and some people don't. But, for those who do think it's a sin, for those who are using it as a dividing line, making it an 'us against them' issue, then it's only fair to call out my sins too.
I judge. Boy, do I judge. When I see someone who I know is really struggling financially, post pictures of the expensive meal they treated themselves too at a restaurant, I judge. When I see someone use their EBT (food stamps) card to buy a big soda, or junk food instead of something healthy, I judge. I smile politely on the outside, but inside I wave my finger of accusation in their face.
I'm jealous. When someone has a bigger house in a nicer part of town, I'm jealous. When someone has more career success than I do, jealousy practically seeps out of my pores. Often, too often, I want what other people have, and I forget to be thankful for the many, many, many blessings I already have.
Jealousy is one of the seven deadly sins, actually, so if we're choosing our friends based on if they sin more or less than us, then .... well, you get the point.
We judge others so we feel better about the choices we make.
We judge others so we feel better about the choices we make.
We judge others so we feel better about the choices we make.
When the whole Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner issue blew up all over the news, my friend Gregg said something that I cannot get out of my mind:
"It's time that my fellow Christians stop holding nonbelievers to a standard to which they have not agreed."
Some say that the new ruling destroys families. Personally, I think families struggled long before this. I know families -- people in my circle -- who have dealt with incest in their home. Whose husband, or wife, has committed adultery. People who struggle with pornography, with attraction to people outside their marriage.
I've seen Scriptures posted on Facebook walls, like Leviticus 20:13, which says, "If a man practices homosexuality, having sex with another man as with a woman, both men have committed a detestable act. They must both be put to death, for they are guilty of a capital offense." But I have yet to see anyone post Leviticus 20:9, which says, "Anyone who dishonors father or mother must be put to death. Such a person is guilty of a capital offense," yet I'm pretty sure we've all dishonored our parents in one way or another, at some point, but we're still alive.
Or how about Leviticus 19:3, which says, "Each of you must show great respect for your mother and father, and you must always observe my Sabbath days of rest. I am the Lord your God."
Everyone using Sunday just as a day of rest? I usually work on Sunday nights after Reagan goes to bed, so I'm gonna raise my hand as guilty on that one.
Or Leviticus 19:13. "Do not make your hired workers wait until the next day to receive their pay." Everyone who owns a business paying all their employees every day?
You get the point. If we're going to use Scripture to compel others to change, how about this one? John 13:34,35: "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."
Or what about the verse about not judging in Matthew 7:2? "For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
When I read hurtful words about people in same-sex relationships, people are speaking words of hate against the Toms and the Jons and the Lindas and Camilles and the Garys in my life. And that is just not ok. Do it in the name of Christ, and ... well, it's not the same Christ I know.
I fail to understand how this -- homosexuality -- became the topic for Christians to raise the rally cry. Because, frankly, I can think of a lot of issues that are really, really important to take a stand against.
Who is going to take a stand against the thousands upon thousands of Christians who are being persecuted and killed for their faith, all over the world? We have Christians holding church services in dark basements, for fear of DEATH if they are found out. Christians are being killed at an alarming rate, but hardly anyone is talking about it anymore. I started watching a video the other day that showed Christians being drowned by members of ISIS. I stopped before it got too far, because I just can't. I can't fathom, I can't watch ... I just can't.
Or the orphans. My God, the orphans. Millions of children growing up without a parent. Children on the streets -- CHILDREN ON THE STREETS. If one out of every 138 Southern Baptists adopted a child from foster care in the United States, there would be no more orphans in the United States. None. But who of us are going to do something about that? Anyone?
Or the 21 million victims of human trafficking all over the world. It happens everywhere, including most likely in your hometown. Children, and adults, used for their bodies, without any regard for their rights. It's slavery, and it's the most lucrative business in the world. Anyone want to take a stand against that?
Regardless of our feelings on same-sex relationships, there is so much more to unite us than divide us. So much more.
One of my friends, who I was neighbors with for a couple of years, and who gave me the bench my husband and I sit on when we watch our son play, and who was one of the very first people to reach out to me after we announced our adoption, she (who is in a same-sex relationship) said this after her Facebook erupted with accusations and hurtful, awful, hate-filled words:
"Those who judge and belittle me, well I am sorry but you cannot have access to my life. Period. Your loss."
Is this what we want? Do we want to make one issue so divisive?
I don't. I'm a Christian, but I don't. I choose love. Every time.
Love.
